Today I noted this article appeared on Business Insider:
"How to use your $1,200 stimulus check to invest in your career, so you can find a dream job or finally advance in your current role"
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-spend-your-stimulus-check-money-career-development-tools-2020-4
My take on how to use that stimulus check follow...
[begin_humor]
Since our previous careers probably don't exist anymore...or, won't much longer...you might want to consider investing your stimulus check in some of these new growth areas:[end_humor]
#1 Invest in a shovel - lots of things are going to need burying in the future: your neighbors, money, food. Use some of that stimulus to order the complete set of "Mad Max" movies - that'll give you some great ideas for how you can maximize the return on your investment in that shiny new shovel.
#2 Print-up flyers and post them on your mailbox ("This Week's Special: Body Disposal - only $25!" has a nice ring to it - again, it's a growth industry - so you might get more jobs as word spreads of your superior customer service). And, you'll get to use that shovel sooner than you can say "Very Stable Genius".
#3 When your investment in #1 has paid off enough through #2 to warrant expanding your new business into offering additional services: Enroll in the "Undertaker" correspondence courses.
4) Since the U.S. Postal Service may soon cease to exist - you might want to use some of your stimulus check to "invest" in homing pigeons. Imagine the pride you'll have in your new business. To help you launch your new business - you'll need a good marketing slogan. Here's one that you might consider: "letters delivered faster than an African Swallow - no coconuts permitted"). Pro Tip: DO NOT eat your new assets.
5) Use some of that stimulus to buy some good audio/video equipment and create bold new online training courses. A few titles that will surely be very popular: "How to downsize to a cardboard box"; "How to stretch your stimulus dollars - nouvelle cuisine and dumpster dining"; and sure to be everyone's favorite, "How to Prepare Squirrel - the new meat"; as well as "101 Uses for Homing Pigeon Bones".
Please contribute your suggestions to how to wisely invest that stimulus check to further your career - clearly, much more important than buying food - or paying the rent.
